A Little Hoarse

I woke up this morning with a sore throat. It didn't last but it left me with very little voice.

My daughter said I sounded like Grandma - in other words, like someone who had been smoking for 20 years. Well, not exactly, but really a cross between that and an adolescent boy's voice changing.

This is not new to me. I lose my voice each year at one time or another. It will last for a few days and then be gone.

This one is freaking out my dog though. I talk to her and she just looks nervously at me. Well, more nervously than usual. She's a Chihuahua after all.

Moving Day

Yesterday, because of the undecided nature of what exactly this approaching snow storm was going to do, our movers asked if we were ready and would we mind getting moved that afternoon. The boss said yes. Since I was the only one without evening plans (as usual) I volunteered to stay late - until everything was moved in.

They were nice guys and were no trouble at all - but they didn't want to read the diagram of offices to determine which was one and which was five - so I spent a few hours running back and forth directing traffic. Room two? The one with the yellow chair. Room nine? That's the kitchen. And so on until 7:00 pm.

And now, comes the really time-consuming part - we have to unpack.

Guess What I Did

Yesterday did something that I'd never done before - I went the wrong way on a one-way street. Really!

I was traveling to a new part of the town where my office is - and as I got off the exit ramp it said "Keep Left" and I guess I kept a little too left. I turned onto what I found out was a divided part of the road. The second I turned I saw cars up ahead at the light and they all were facing me. Uh Oh!

There was no possiblity of backing up - behind me was a very large intersection of people coming off the highway. Up ahead of me - no more than 10 yards - was an opening in the road where I could swerve back over to my side. There was just one problem, there were four cars coming straight at me. I stayed as close to the side where the opening was and just stopped and turned on my signal to let them know what I was trying to do. But the old man directly in front of me decided he would rather NOT drive around me, but instead sit in his car and mouth what I'm sure was horrible obscenitiees and wave a fist at me. And when I say old man, I meant old!

Well, eventually he swerved around me - all the while still shaking his fist and mouthing words I was glad I couldn't hear. The 3 cars behind me just shook their head - they felt sorry for me.

And I will never forget how that exit ramp is set up.

Dinner

Guess what I had for dinner last night. Give up? Pudding. Yep I had pudding for dinner.

I know, it's not the most nutritous meal. Probably not even in the to 1000. But sometimes you just don't care. I was tired and wasn't in the mood for cereal. But sitting there on the refridgerator shelf was a tub of chocolate pudding. It was practically calling to me. So, I had pudding for dinner.

That's one of the things that I like about no longer having kids at home - you don't have to worry about dinner if you're tired.

Moving

Our office is moving this weekend and so this week, in addition to trying to get my regular work done, I have to pack. It is such a pain to take everything in your office (out of the cabinets and desks, of course) and pack it in boxes. It's even more of a pain to unpack it or live amid the clutter afterward.

But what I really find disturbing is as we're cleaning out storage cabinets, we're finding things that don't work or are clearly broken. Now, why, when faced with an office object that breaks, would someone decide to buy a new one and just put the old one in storage? My first thought, but it may just be me, would be to throw it away. But we have at least a pickup truck worth of stuff to toss - broken, outdated, or otherwise replaced items.

It's a puzzle.

Sleep

Lately all I've wanted to do is sleep. I am yawning on my commute home. I barely make it through dinner. I am totally ready to go to bed by 8:00 pm! What is with this?

Maybe it's because it's winter. Something about the sun going down makes me begin to think about bed - and the sun is definitely down before I make it home. It's the same in the morning. I can get 8 hours of sleep, but if the sun hasn't come up yet, I have a hard time waking up. On the flip side, I might have only had 4 hours of sleep, but if the sun comes up I can't go back to sleep.

Winnie, however, is having no problem with my going to bed early.

One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like you could lay your head on your desk and take a nap? I'm having one of those days today.

I woke up with a headache - which I promptly took something for - but since the headache left I've just felt blah. I'm not sleepy. It's just that draggy feeling. Like when your arms feel too heavy to hold up.

I'd like to go straight home and crawl into bed, but I've got errands to run. Then when I finally get home I'll have to make dinner. Then I'll check my e-mails. Then I'll cuddle the dog a little. THEN I'll crawl into bed.

Well, it's good to have a plan.

Babysitting

I got to babysit again today while my son and daughter-in-law went out to dinner. But he slept nearly the whole time. I guess I shouldn't complain, but . . . . no fun.

Maybe next time.

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. Another year older.

I enjoy birthdays. Its one holiday that you don't have to share with anyone else. It's all about you. And I have a family that doesn't dissapoint. Everyone either calls or sends a card.

I suppose at my age I should be bothered with getting older. But I'm not. I wouldn't go back in time even if I could. I enjoy being more astute about the world around me each year. I enjoy being more intelligent (though sometimes my knowledge has come from the world of hard knocks) than I was a year ago.

I do, however, have a problem with my kids getting older. That's just not right,.

5 Stupid Men

Yesterday something horrible happened. Five individuals released an opinion that set our political fundraising back a century.

For some reason unknown to me, they decided that limiting campaign contributions was denying large corporations their freedom. Freedom of what I'm not sure, I haven't read the majority opinion yet, but I didn't think freedom to buy candidates was part of the Bill of Rights. Maybe they are stretching the definition of freedom of speech, I don't know, but I don't like it.

On my way home yesterday I was listing to NPR and they had two "expert" pundits commenting on the ruling. The first one thought the Court did a good thing. He kept commenting on how this would "level the playing field" so now non-millionaires could have a chance at winning elections. So this would bring candidacy to the hands of the "middle class." Really? That's what you took out of this ruling? Out of all the potential ramifications you decided that the salient point of this ruling was allowing middle class candidates to get "bought" just like the rich ones?

The second pundit was outraged. He saw it, and rightly so in my opinion, as opening the floodgates and giving big corporations (you know, the ones we had to bail out recently because they can't make long-term financial decisions) the ability to give unlimited amounts of money to the candidates that they want in office. Hello . . . does anyone else see the problem here?

Throwing money at things isn't the way to fix them. And yes, I know some of you are thinking, well it worked for the bail out since some of those banks have already repaid their money and have made a profit in this last quarter. I'm sure the bail out was necessary to some degree. We can't have the banks go under and everyone lose their retirement investments and life savings, but come on, how hard was it for them to make a profit when we loaned them money interest free and they used it to make money. If you "loan" me money and I put it in my savings account I will make money too. This doesn't require skill. And for this they gave their executives some hefty bonuses. We're definitely not taking about a bunch of Einsteins here.

So, forgive me if I don't jump for joy that we're giving the big corporations more power to screw up our lives. They already give huge amounts to election campaigns - and if you look at how people voted and look at who financed their re-election, you will see a definite coorrelation. These politicians may say that they know what's best for us. They may say that they're looking out for the people. They may say we need this but not "this" bill. But most of the time it's just that it's not the bill that their corporate puppeteer is happy with - and really nothing to do with their constituents.

I'm a big fan of the Supreme Court and enjoy reading their opinions - even the dissenting ones. I have long enjoyed the fact that they are appointed for life (short of treason) and so frequently can't be bought - because they don't have to win the job every few years. I believe that if they base their opinions on the Constitution and extrapolate from it's admonitions, they will make good decisions that will stand the test of time. I know, some vote their personal opinions and morals, but for the most part, history has proven them to be able to do the right thing (albeit sometimes late.) But I think they dropped the ball with this one. Big time dropped the ball.

Bachache

I have a back ache. No, I didn't do anythng to my back. No over exercising. No accident. No strain. I wasn't moving furniture or lifting weights. I did nothing. I walked from my office to the reception area and turned to talk to someone and I felt my my back spasm.

I've never understood how a back can just go berzerk without an provocation. It doesn't seem quite fair. You shouldn't experience pain without a reason. Guess it's just another one of the ways that aging screws with you.

But on the flip side, it's a good excuse to take a muscle relaxer left over from the last back ache.

Skills

I have skills. Maybe not many, but I have them. Mainly, I write well. I've been telling people this for years, but suddently the outside world is appreciating that fact. In recent months I've been asked to write sponsor letters for a small non-profit children's organization, letters of recommendation for friends, and two brochures.

I'm not getting paid for these writing jobs, but it doesn't matter, I get a great deal of pride and satisfaction in just knowing that my peers recognize my skill and ask for my help.

I like this recognition because I'm a writer. That's how I define myself. Maybe not a working writer, but a writer nonetheless. It's important to me to keep up with my writing in any way I can.

Hence this blog.

Automatic Withdrawals

I use automatic withdrawals to pay some of my bills, but very few. It's got to be someone that I really trust - my bank for my mortgage or my student loan come to mind. But I would rather go in and do an electronic check or online payment for everyone else. Because I don't trust them.

I just got a notice in the mail today that said I would be charged $4.95 extra per month if I didn't sign up for the automatic withdrawals. Now, I can see how they want to encourage everyone to sign up for electronic billing - it does save them money in paper and postage, but I don't see how it saves them any money to do automatic withdrawal. It's my expense to send in a check - which I don't even do, I send it via an electronic payment through my bank. So why should they charge me?

These fees annoy me. I like my invoices to be flat rate - nickle and diming me is the surest way to make me take my business elsewhere. So I called them. She said that because I was such a good customer, they were "graduating" me to the new program. Like they were doing me some kind of favor. What they are doing is forcing me to pay them on a particular date (whether or not the funds are there) or making me pay for THEIR inconvenience. So I asked to talk to her manager. She said it would be a 30-minute wait.

Sheesh!

Holiday

Today is a holiday from work for me. I am so thankful for long holiday weekends, you get that one extra day for R&R before going back. A shorter week ahead of you makes beginning the week almost enjoyable.

However, leave it to me to find a way to ruin a wonderful 3-day weekend. I brought work home. I not only brought work home, but it's work that I cannot ignor. It needs to be done before Tuesday because I've got things that need to be done on Wednesday that needs this data.

I did goof off on Saturday, but yesterday, amid the loads of laundry, I was at the laptop chipping through the stack of work. Today, it will be almost the same.

Sigh.

Chinese Food

I really enjoy Chinese food. I enjoy having food delivered to me. I enjoy the mix of flavors - all over rice. It's just a good experience. Until later that evening. The older I get the less Chinese food likes me. It sits in my stomach like lead for hours. And yet, after enough weeks have passed so that I have forgotten the lead in stomach feeling, I order it again -- knowing full well that I'll feel awful later.

Another insight into my warped psyche.

Naps

There is nothing better than an afternoon nap.

It's one of the most self-indulgent things you can do. But, it costs nothing. It's not addictive. It doesn't give you cancer or high blood pressure or heart disease. How cool is that?

We took naps as kids - our parents knew they were good for us. But until we reach our senior years, they're frowned upon unless you call them "power naps." I don't take power naps. I usually only sleep for 1/2 hour, but it's a deep, drooling sleep.

I can't wait until I reach my senior years so I can take one every day.

Book Club

The only thing that comes close to reading, is talking about reading.

I belong to a mystery book club that meets once a month. We talk about fluff mysteries, gory mysteries, traditional mysteries, and completely untraditional mysteries. We try to pick authors that we haven't read before to broaden our list of "favorite" authors. And I've done that.

What I find amazing is that in my entire lifetime, of all the books I have read, I have never read a book that I didn't like. I've read a few that were merely okay. I've read several that were poorly written but wonderfully gripping. And I read one book that I enjoyed so thoroughly that when it ended I was sad. I didn't want to leave it behind.

Books take me to places that I've never been and probably never will. They let me feel things that I wouldn't otherwise get to feel. They give my imagination fuel to keep it running. They fill in all the cracks in my life.

It began in the third grade . . . but that's another blog post.

Work Challenges

In the past week I've been crazy busy with a new database they've switched to at work. Needless to say, it's been an experience "de-bugging" the new software and the workload is piling up.

But I'm happy. Why? Because it's challenging.

I'd rather be up to my ears in work and drowning in paperwork on my desk with something new and challenging than be busy with boring rote work. Now I know this new database will eventually become rote and boring too -- after all, it's the same work, just a new database -- but in the mean time, I'm on Cloud 9.

I'm even eager to go to work tomorrow. Shocker!

Workplace Environment

You know, I've never - ever - worked at a place that had the temperature right. Now, I know that now that I'm menopausal I can't rely on my own inner thermometer, but my co-workers will back me up most of the time, so it's not that . . . or not only that.

I've worked at places where it was so hot - year round - that I wore sleeveless shirts all the time. I went for a few years without ever putting on a sweater. I've worked at places where it was so cold - again, year round - that I wore a sweater when the temperature outside was in the 90's.

My current job is too hot. It's almost normal in the morning, but by early afternoon (right now for instance) I'm turning on a fan to keep from getting too hot. They told me it was because one wall of my office is windows and I get the afternoon sun - but prior to this office I was in a room with no windows and it did the same thing. At that time they told me it was because there were no windows.

Now, most places have that period in the Spring before they turn the heat off that is uncomfortably warm and again in the Fall before they turn the heat back on when it is uncomfortably cold. But I can't seem to get a job that can control the thermostat. It's so hot in my office that if I don't eat my banana one day - it is brown by the next.

On January 30 we're moving. I'll still have one wall of windows, but I'm hopeful that our zone thermostats will help everyone stay at a perfect temperature.

Maybe I can even take my fan home.

Students

Today was the first night of one of the classes I teach. It never ceases to amaze me how people can get through life and no nothing about how to follow directions.

Tonight was the Keyboarding class - which is mainly self-taught through a web classroom. I just sit in front of the class to help them with problems. And believe me, there are a lot!

I instructed the students to read the text first, it will tell them when to go to the computer and complete the exercises, and then the computer screen will tell them when to go back to the text. I had one student who misunderstood. She skipped the first section in the text - thought it was just telling her how to log in, and went to the computer. She completed the first exercise and put up her hand. "I thought it was going to tell me when to go to the next section." I just finished Section 2.1 and it didn't tell me to go to Section 2.2. I opened the text and pointed to the first paragraph of the section - where it told her to log in and begin Section 2.1, and lo and behold, a few sentences down it said continue on to Section 2.2 through 2.5. I had to actually point to it. She just didn't see it.

This isn't unusual. I've had students in my online class who were supposed to go to the Testing Center to take finals, call me the day after the marking period ended to ask me if there was supposed to be a final. I have at least 4 students every semester that "miss" the final. They didn't understand. It's only discussed in the Orientation, listed on the Syllabus, listed in their Class Schedule, AND I send everyone an e-mail when I deliver the tests to the Testing Center. I can see how they miss it.

What is the most remarkable is that most of my students are not "traditional-aged" students. Mine are, for the most part, adults.

How did they make it this far in life?

Gas

I very much dislike having gas. Gas can be silent or noisy. It can be smelly or odorless. It can be short in length or long. And it usually comes at inopportune times and seems to be neverending. I'm the type that try to go to the restroom every time. But there are others who follow the "crop dusting" philosophy - as long as you keep walking no one will know where it came from. Of course, some are proud of their emittances - and comment on them and make sure everyone notices.

The problem is - I've been trying to eat more healthy. And the healthier foods all tend to give you gas. So the more salads and vegetables I eat, the more frequently I have gas. Quite the double-edged sword.

All I can say is I'm very glad I live alone.

Birthday Cards

I got a birthday card in the mail yesterday. No, it's not my birthday - that's still 2 weeks away. But some people who send you cards don't bother with the date, just the month. The card is from my dentist.

Each year I get a birthday card from my dentist and my insurance agent. I'm not sure why these people (or their staff) feel the need to send me a card each year. Maybe they are hoping to make my relationship with them appear to be more personal. Maybe they are hoping to just keep their business in my mind when my relationship with them has become rote and predictable. I'm not sure. But I am also not sure I like it.

I like my dentist, I like his staff. The hygenist asks me about my kids and grandkids each time I come in. The dentist asks me about my job - he remembers I teach part-time at the college. I like that, I don't expect it, but I like it. But that's in their office. When I come to them.

I have friends and family who care about my birthday. I don't need the business establishments that I do business with to care about my birthday. It seems silly and a waste of paper. It doesn't brighten my day like a card from family. It just is.

However, with all that said, the dentist birthday card (which as always come weeks before my birthday) has served another purpose. When my kids still lived at home, if I displayed the card once it came in the mail, it served as a reminder to my kids (especially my son) that my birthday was approaching.

Travel

I've always wanted to travel. No, I take that back, I've always wanted to go to other places and live there for a while. I don't just want to see these places, I want to understand them and the people who live there.

I know it doesn't seem like too much of a difference, but it's significant. It's the difference of possibly happening or never happening at all. Yep, that's what I mean. I may travel in the future, but know I'll never get to live in other places. I'm too old, too settled, too content.

But, for some reason, I'm sort of okay with all this. Strange, huh?

Poinsettia

One of the things I enjoy about the holiday season is the Poinsettia plant. It's so bright and cheerful. I try to buy one every year - sometimes for home and sometimes for work.

This year I bought a very small Poinsettia plant to put on my desk at work - I thought it would thrive better there because my office feels like a greenhouse most of the time and my home feels like a refridgerator.

But now we're into the 2nd week of the new year and my poor Poinsettia plant is starting to drop it's bright red leaves. It's beginning to look a little tired and worn. I'll keep it on my desk until it stops looking like a plant at all. I'll give it every opportunity to come back to life, but I know it won't.

That's one of the sad parts of the holiday season . . . it ends and we go back to dreary winter days of no color.

Accomplishments

I love getting things accomplished. I like crossing things off the "to do" list. I like seeing the "in" box stuff move to the "out" box. I like a cluttered desk turning into a clean desk. I like turning the last page of a book. I like seeing that things are being done. I like things that have ends that you can recognize.

Which is why I dislike many jobs. You can't see your accomplishments being done because it's a neverending - like housework. As soon as all the dishes are washed another is dirtied. As soon as you sweep your floor, it starts accumulating dust again.

I have some jobs like that at work too - as soon as I empty the folder more comes in . . . daily. It becomes frustrating.

Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work.

Tea

I've never developed a taste for coffee. I love the smell of the fresh grounds, but I just never liked coffee. Everyone said that if you just start drinking it, you will soon be hooked, but I decided that I enjoyed enough beverages, so why teach myself to like one more. And the people who make it half a cup of milk, 20 teaspoons of sugar, and/or whipped cream are just comical. Once you make it a dessert, it really stops being a beverage.

I do like tea however. My favorite is just plain old black tea (not Lipton, too whimpy of a flavor.) I drink a very large cup every morning. Sometimes, if I'm in the mood later in the morning, I'll have another cup of some other black blend - often with a few spices thrown in for good measure. Once lunchtime has passed, if I want tea I will stick with green tea (less caffeine.) And once dinnertime has passed, I stick with herbals - my favorite is Red Zinger.

On special occasions I will drink Christmas Morning tea, Pumpkin Spice tea, or any other festive tea - but most of the time I'm happy with my standard British blend black tea for my morning ritual.

I don't know how or why I came to enjoy tea. I came from a family of coffee drinkers. If you did have tea in the house it was always a Lipton-like tea (bland) that was used to make ice tea -- which by the way I don't enjoy at all, hot or nothing.

Yes, I know, I'm just completely atypical.

Resolutions

Just today - as I was reading a magazine article called "Nine Secrets of Motivated People" - I realized that I didn't make any New Year resolutions this year.

I have always made resolutions. Even if they are the same resolutions that I made the week before or the month before. There is something about that new year, new beginning, new you ideology that just sucks you in. But this year, almost as if I didn't realize that the new year was beginning, I didn't.

Hmmm. Wonder what that means?

Maybe it's because I am okay with who I am. Maybe I just didn't want the added pressure. Maybe I know that I'll break them within a month anyway. Maybe I just forgot.

I did, however, accomplish my other New Year's Day custom - I went out to eat with family. Oh, well, I guess I can save the resolutions until next year.

Databases and Nervous Breakdowns

Well, today is probably my last day of sanity. As I write this, a programmer is switching all our work information into a newly created database. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for our new and improved work capabilities, but it's a case of 'the devil you know' sort of thing.

Our current database is off-the-shelf and was designed mainly for Chamber of Commerces, but was adapted to fit our needs. But it wasn't a perfect fit and so our lives were full of workarounds and scrub reports to catch errors before we run important jobs. But I had it down to a science. I had a checklist of all the scrub reports I had to run prior to doing billing or end-of-month reports. It didn't do anything automatically and constantly made more work for me. But I understood it.

Our new database, while I'm sure it will be state-of-the-art and will fulfill my wildest database fantasies, will be, as all new software applications are, chocked full of bugs and problems. These will require constant phone calls to the programmer to tweak, fine tune, and finesse it to giving us the information we want. I know, this isn't my first rodeo here. I once worked at a place who, after hiring me, decided that they would change 5 specialized databases. Whew!

So, I should probably stop on my way home and pick up some headache remedies. I know I'll need them.

Home

Home is a relative term. Home is wherever all my stuff is. I also have a house. It's meaningless except that it is the shell that holds all my stuff.

I wish sometimes that I didn't have this house. It's more than I can handle and it's falling down around me, but it's nearly paid of and the payments are rediculously low. To leave it behind would be like starting over. And that's more than I think I want to do.

But it's warm and dry and keeps all my stuff safe. So I guess it will do.

Cold

It is so cold today. It's not only cold, it's windy and cold. The wind has been howling outside. I won't even venture outside. I'll stay inside where I can drink hot tea, eat soup, snuggle with my dog, and, if necessary, wrap myself in a warm blanket. Yes, I had shopping that I needed to get done, but I'll stop after work one day next week and do it - I have to out then anyway.

RIP

My laptop died. I checked my e-mails one evening before bed and let it go to sleep, but when I tried to awaken it the next morning . . . there was no response. The little green light comes on, but there is no whirring noises and no flickering of the screen coming to life. I tried several times - turning off then turning on -- but my efforts were in vain. So young. So vibrant. Life cut short with no warning.

I didn't have much on it that wasn't also somewhere else - just some recipes. But I still feel as though I've lost someting important.

Rest in peace Toshiba Satellite, I can't wait to replace you!